Fuck This

I say fuck it.
I say fuck it because in my entire life I have found ONE person that makes my heart skip. That person is Chelsea. For about three weeks after our break-up i was fine, and then yesterday all of my feelings for her hit me like a freight train. I say fuck it because I broke up with her. She didn't do aything wrong and neither did I. We saw each other 10min in a month, thats not healthy, right? I realize now that I think im still in love with her, because what we had was perfect love. I say fuck it because I cant be with her. I say fuck it because the one person that makes me happy in life i cant even see. How the fuck does this happen to me? Im a good guy, what the fuck god?! Did i piss you off? Why the hell can't we just be happy together, fuck it.

How the fuck?

I just did the hardest thingI have ever had to do.  

Break up with someone who is in love with you that you love right back.

How am i supposed to live with myself?

She is perfect, she's funny, smart, kind and the best irlfriend ever.

But I broke up with er because of her no good fuck she calls a father. 

He is the only reason I had to break up with her.

He grounded her for the stupidest shit and hated me.

HOW THE FUCK do i go on with yself with knowing that I just broke the person I love's heart?

Sorry for the typos, i am balling my eyes out.

Chelsea Nartker

My best friend Stephen went out with this girl. Chelsea. They broke up, just about the time her and I started talking more... So after summercamp was over (two days to be exact) we started dating... We've been going out since the 22nd of July. So far, things are not going how i planned. But not badly either. She is really cool. She's funny, smart, and perfect for me. She even thinks the dorky things i do like play WoW and collect Pez dispensers, are cool. I am really happy with her...

I told her that I loved her.

I feel i do.

But how does one know?

My train of thought on the situation, was as follows. She told me something nasty that happened to her, I cried and got super pissed all at the same time. Just as i would if my moher, or brother, or cousin had told me the same news. So I think that that is love. Wanting to protect someone from anything... Am I off track?

Wow

Wow.

It's been since may since i posted!

Wow.

I knew it had been a while, but damn. I need to start posting more...

Sorry for you that actually read this... For those of you that dont. Well i was going to put something rude to those who dont read it. But they wont see it anyway. So nevermind :P

I will actually start posting now...

Huh?

For the first time in my life, I do not know how to feel.
I am truly flabbergasted as to what or how I should be feeling right now.
Emily, the girl I took to prom has a boyfriend, my friend Nick Poma.
Don't get me wrong, I am not ad or sad that they are together.
But she didn't tell me.
Which is weird, because I talked to her the night of prom and she was not allowed to date.
And now she has a boyfriend...
I do not want to be with her, yet...
But I thought maybe down the road, how should I feel?

Driving

Today, something new happened to me.
I failed a test.
My driving test.
I am bummed, but not down.
I just have to wait till next Tuesday, right?

Yay

So after like forever I finally get to go o my best friends house.
I haven't seen Danny in like forever...
Yay!